Just play ball!

Posted: March 7, 2011 by JS in Sports
Tags:

Against my better judgment, I decided to watch part of an NBA game while enjoying my lunch today.  Anyone who knows me is familiar with my take on this generation’s NBA… it’s piss poor on its best day and that’s putting it lightly.

Quick sidebar:
Whatever happened to basketball as I remember it growing up?  Basketball as a TEAM sport where guys played defense, ran plays, and didn’t just heave errant jump shots or try to dunk on every play.  The current state of  professional basketball makes me yearn for the days of yore when leaving your feet in a game meant you’d be landing on your back.  Anyway, back on topic…

So I change the channel to find that it’s Chicago at Miami… great, Miami.  I hate their entire roster.  They’ve replaced pre-2004 Utah as the team I despise most and wish the earth would swallow whole.

Possessing hyper vigilant qualities, I immediately notice that something isn’t right.  What the fuck is wrong with everyone’s jerseys?!?  Chicago’s say “Los Bulls” on them and Miami’s say “El Heat”.  Great… fucking fantastic.  Some genius in the league’s marketing department has decided that some sort of Latin-themed day or weekend is necessary to pay homage to the Hispanic community, make basketball more appealing to those of Latin descent, or peddle a more merchandise with Mr. West’s image on it.  For the record, I believe the latter is the most likely scenario.

Well, now my interest is peaked and I’m pissed.  So I start searching the internet.  As it turns out, we’ve just had “Noche Latina 2011”.  Apparently, the NBA and one of the companies responsible for making sure that men’s armpits don’t stink organize a Latin Night each season which, “… celebrates the league’s Hispanic heritage with special telecasts and in-arena festivities, including distinctive NBA team uniforms.”  To quote The Situation, “What?!?”  Let me get this straight, in order to tip your cap to the Latin community, you’re going to butcher their language and stick “El”, “Los”, and “Nueva” in front of the team names.  That’s it?  “Los Spurs”?  “Nueva York”?  I assume you’re also passing out burritos or chimichangas to the first 10,000 fans at each game right?!?  Here is the link so you can check out this abortion for yourself:

http://www.nba.com/enebea/news/right_guard_noche_latina_2011_02_17.html

Note that the blurb that pimps the special merchandise comes a full TWO PARAGRAPHS before the two sentence explanation for why teams are wearing different jerseys to begin with:

”    …features uniforms that display the team name as spoken by the Latin population. The Miami Heat, for example, is “El Heat”; the San Antonio Spurs are referred to as “Los Spurs.”    ”

Excuse me, Mr. Stern… I refer to your on-court product as ‘shit’, can I get a Chicago jersey that says “Bull Shit”???

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