Holy Hell…. I have to own this!

Posted: December 16, 2011 by AB in Uncategorized
Tags: , ,

Today something beautiful happened.  Just when I thought life couldn’t get any sweeter, I received an email that could quite possibly change my daily life for the near future.  While I receive dozens of emails every day, most of which from various retail outlets and service providers simply letting me know about goods and services I could care less to be informed about, let alone clogging up my Gmail account…This one spoke to me….

This one was different..

BEHOLD!! The “Griddler”!
This machine is Fucking Amazing!! Serious,
it does everything! If there is something it can’t do, then I obviously don’t need to eat it…ever again.  And it can all be had for 1 easy payment of $99.00 or my deadbeat ass can finance the fucker for 3 months.  Either way, I will never find myself in a mealtime debacle ever again! Now you may be thinking, “AB, sure it looks very nice.. but my Foreman can cook a hamburger just fine”.  You know what, fuck your Foreman, he sucks ass.  The “Griddler” does things that George could only dream about.  Can your Foreman griddle pancakes or make a tasty omelette?? Hell no! The “Griddler” has removable plates that can be swapped with a flat griddle plate!
Look at that! George Foreman may have been the heavyweight champion of the world, but he’s old news now, and a has been.  Kinda like his griddle. 
But wait!!! Theres more!! No, there is no free set of steak knives with this must have kitchen accessory, but the “Griddler” has another skill that sets it apart.  Besides having a name that sounds an awful lot like a famous Batman protagonist…this machine of wonders makes Waffles…Yep.  Fucking Waffles. Not those thin, pathetic, store-bought type of waffle…I am talking full on, hearty, hold onto a gallon of syrup waffles.  Why own 14 different pieces of culinary hardware, when you can have this all in one destroyer of dinners??!
Now I just need to figure out where to find one.  Ordering via the email link sounds like a pain in the ass, and fuck if I am going to wait 3 days for this bad boy to show up on my doorstep.

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