Archive for April, 2012

Dude bangs his buddy’s girl.. the story gets better – REDDIT

Bill Clinton has awkward timing – Uproxx

People who hate where they work– TheChive

Bugatti Veyron makes your car look fuckin’ stupid – AutoBlog

Sweet Brown gets Auto-Tuned – YouTube

The Kardashians are 40 million richer/kill me – WWTDD

I understand why Zucherberg wanted it so damn bad – girlsoninstagram

Apple made a couple bucks last quarter – Engadget

Teens getting drunk off hand sanitizer – YAHOO

Rosie O’Donnell is a stupid cunt – IDLYITW

Dude has the Field of Dreams tattooed on his back – WithLeather

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Earlier today, the news everywhere is reporting that Joran Van Der Sloot, the guy who not only (Allegedly) killed Natalie Halloway, and then dispatched some young lady down in Brazil, is now going to be bringing his evil offspring into this world.  Let us all thank the young lady that made this amazing decision. I am sure she thought this over very well…This leads me to my next thought…

Seriously ladies…

What the fuck is the matter with you??  Is the “Bad Boy” that irresistible to you? What is it that makes you decide having sex with convicted criminals that exciting?  Don’t give me the whole, “oh that chick must be crazy” speech.  That was null and void the first time some dumb broad sent fan mail to a serial killer.  Notorious Serial Killer Ted Bundy not only received fan mail while on trial, he also fathered a child with a woman he married while in jail…

I will help you with a few things… If the man you are dating falls under one of the following categories, you should choose a different adventure… cuz the one you are currently pursuing is filled with stupidity that will only lead you to sadness, destruction, and a ruined life.  Here you go:

1. Is he in jail? Has he ever spent more than 30 days in jail?

2. Has he been unemployed for the majority of the time you have been together?  Drug dealers, photographers, musicians and artists are not jobs.

3. Does he regularly use a drug not called marijuana? Does he purchase his pot with your money?

4. Has he ever beaten a woman? Has he ever beaten anyone over something other than protecting a woman or child?

5. Has he ever(even allegedly) killed, or raped someone?

6. Is his child to mother ratio more than 3:2?

If your answer to any of these is yes, and you continue to desire said douchebag… then you are what is wrong with this country. Please, continue to find men who murder, rape and steal irresistible and sexy.  If being lonely, poor and or dead is a fantasy to you… then god bless.

Isn’t he just dreamy…

 

Not much to say on this one. Dick Clark went to the Hospital yesterday for what was supposed to be a routine checkup and never left.  He suffered a Heart Attack this morning and was pronounced dead shortly after. What is crazy to me is that he had the coconuts to keep his schtick going even after a stroke robbed him of his voice and most of his motor functions.

That beings said, I do not wish to remember Mr.Clark as the man who painfully brought in the new year the last couple of years.. So enjoy these pictures of Dick Clark’s Flintstone house! Located on 23 lush acres in the heart of Malibu.  What kind of person builds a house modeled after a 1960’s cartoon on 23 acres of prime ocean front real estate.

A fucking awesome person.. that’s who. And THAT is the Dick Clark I will remember.

 

 

Lawyer Dog meme gets your pooch off the hookUproxx

Guy smarter than you beats a traffic ticket with nerderyAutoblog

Sara Underwood’s Esquire outakesIdontlikeyouinthatway

If you have $90 Million laying around.. this yacht can be yoursTheChive

Gun myths we all believe…and movies are to blameCracked

Behind the scenes photos from Star WarsFlavorwire

Hologram Tupac to go on tour.  Of course it wouldRollingStone

Lindsay Lohan takes the girls to a meeting and forgets her braTodaySweet

49 Year old Jamie Moyer becomes oldest pitcher to win a MLB gameFox Sports

That’s it… I’m done…

I have written about my Dirty ex-girlfriend on here a few times, and perhaps I may have been a bit harsh at times… but anyone that watched last nights “Voice” can agree to this…..

When your fish nets are stretched to the breaking point, and your buttons start shooting off your top and injuring audience members.. its time to lay off the pizza and get back in the gym. It’s unfathomable how far off the deep end she has gone..  Let’s be real, we have all found ourselves in that “Fat” phase…but last time I checked most of us don’t posses the recourses and cash necessary to stay in shape for years on end.

So this is the end..  I hung on in hope that she would drop the pounds and come back to reality.. but that hope is gone.  Unless she kills someone, or grows a third tit on her forehead, I can’t see a reason to do another Christina post.

**Obviously the picture above is not Christina Aguilera. This is Sara Jean Underwood..  Your eyes should thank me.

Cromartie and his family

Apparently Antonio Cromartie decided that Shawn Kemp has nothing on him, and went for the baker’s dozen.  This will be Cromartie’s 11th and 12th children, four of which from his current wife.  The other 8 are spread out amongst 7 other women…..SEVEN. You can’t make shit like this up.  I hope they reference these news articles ten years from now when he’s dead broke and in jail for being years behind in child support and alimony.  My favorite part of the story being reported on FOX News is the part where they describe his inability to name all of his children when he was asked..

 

Ten bucks says these aren’t his last children..