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So here it goes, lets see how motivated we are in updating this.. Since we last posted a lot has happened… Lindsay Lohan continues to baffle science, AA, and the judicial system in somehow making millions of dollars, and staying out of prison;The first man on the moon has died, and a book about a sexually abusive rich dude is somehow wetting more vagina’s then an entire generations worth of action stars combined.  What does any of this mean??
NOTHING.

 

However, we are dedicated to the art of writing about nonsense, and informing the masses of the things that piss us off.. so sit back and enjoy.

-AB

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Kate Upton might possibly be the most unfair thing to happen to Women since we took away their god given right

to stay at home to cook, clean, and raise our children..but thats another conversation entirely.  The point is, if you

are a straight male, and don’t find everything about this woman to be incredibly sexy.. then there is something

terribly wrong with you.

Here are some of the photos you can find just about anywhere, or found in a magazine that for some

reason people will purchase(not me).

Enjoy 🙂

Source – GQ

Went and saw Ridley Scott’s Prometheus over the weekend, and for anyone who hasn’t spent the 8 bucks(or whatever a movie ticket costs in your area) it is well worth the coin. Intense, thrilling and horrifying all while leaving you in awe of a very thick and compelling tale.. it was definitely something to behold.  That being said,  the two douche buckets that sat DIRECTLY behind me and had a fucking seizure during the first 15 minutes of the movie can kiss my ass. Seriously folks, when you go to a movie, SHUT THE FUCK UP! Get to the theater with enough time to settle in, shut off your phones, finish talking about whatever was interesting in your lives before you sat next to me, open your skittles and shut your damn mouth when the lights go dark. Not that tough.  I hope you went home and choked on your candy or when you die from being grossly obese, they find out it was cuz you extra buttered your popcorn 1 too many times.

Anyways, go see it.

Here’s the trailer if your still not convinced.

-AB

You have to be shitting me.. According to various news outlets, Ottawa’s Museum of Science and Technology  is hosting a Sex Exhibit initially geared toward children as young as 12….. How bad could a public exhibit paid for by tax dollars really be?? Well, lets see…

According to Fox News, a patron would find the following exhibits:

There is the “Climax Room”, complete with displays of “aroused genitals”

Videos describing masturbation “techniques”

Condom demonstrations on anatomically correct dildos

Videos describing the benefits of having “Multiple Partners, Fuck buddies, and anal”.

Who needs Chucky Cheese when you have this wonderland of sexual deviancy!

So there you have it. Our culture is scared to death of letting a child ride his bike without a bicycle helmet and knee pads, but hey! Why not teach them the virtues of banging 6 other people and proper lube techniques when deciding to pound your partners back door.

-AB

More info- CBC News

I know this is a day late… but Fuck it, this is hilarious

 

-AB

Holy Hell, the best show on television(if you disagree, leave now) was renewed for season 4!! According to the Huffington Post, a 13 episode run was ordered, and hopefully NBC will realize in quick order to add a few more episodes before its all done..

On a side note, Alison Brie was on Leno the other day and made a balloon animal and talked about being naked…  So here is that for all of you.  Enjoy!!

http://www.nbc.com/assets/video/widget/widget.html?vid=1400757

Go figure this woman is from ‘Jersey… 44-year-old Patricia Krentcil found herself in a wee bit of trouble this week, when her 5-year-old mentioned to her teacher that she “went tanning with Mommy”…

Now, from the sound of it, this sounds like another classic case of media sensationalism and an over zealous teacher taking the words of a pre-schooler a touch too seriously.

But..

.. then you see a picture of “Mommy’s” face.  I am pretty sure the couch in my living room has less wear and tear, and a more natural finish to it, than Ms. Krentcil’s mug. Nobody in child services is going to believe this woman isn’t crazy enough to think her pale princess is  in desperate need of some color in that pasty skin of hers…

Read the whole story here-MSNBC 

 

Not sure what more needs to be said about this.  Three brave senior citizens discuss(and watch) the awful, Kim Kardashian Sex tape… I have to believe they were as disappointed with it as the rest of us.

 

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-AB

Dude bangs his buddy’s girl.. the story gets better – REDDIT

Bill Clinton has awkward timing – Uproxx

People who hate where they work– TheChive

Bugatti Veyron makes your car look fuckin’ stupid – AutoBlog

Sweet Brown gets Auto-Tuned – YouTube

The Kardashians are 40 million richer/kill me – WWTDD

I understand why Zucherberg wanted it so damn bad – girlsoninstagram

Apple made a couple bucks last quarter – Engadget

Teens getting drunk off hand sanitizer – YAHOO

Rosie O’Donnell is a stupid cunt – IDLYITW

Dude has the Field of Dreams tattooed on his back – WithLeather