Archive for the ‘Girls’ Category

Kate Upton might possibly be the most unfair thing to happen to Women since we took away their god given right

to stay at home to cook, clean, and raise our children..but thats another conversation entirely.  The point is, if you

are a straight male, and don’t find everything about this woman to be incredibly sexy.. then there is something

terribly wrong with you.

Here are some of the photos you can find just about anywhere, or found in a magazine that for some

reason people will purchase(not me).

Enjoy 🙂

Source – GQ

Advertisements

Holy Hell, the best show on television(if you disagree, leave now) was renewed for season 4!! According to the Huffington Post, a 13 episode run was ordered, and hopefully NBC will realize in quick order to add a few more episodes before its all done..

On a side note, Alison Brie was on Leno the other day and made a balloon animal and talked about being naked…  So here is that for all of you.  Enjoy!!

http://www.nbc.com/assets/video/widget/widget.html?vid=1400757

Dude bangs his buddy’s girl.. the story gets better – REDDIT

Bill Clinton has awkward timing – Uproxx

People who hate where they work– TheChive

Bugatti Veyron makes your car look fuckin’ stupid – AutoBlog

Sweet Brown gets Auto-Tuned – YouTube

The Kardashians are 40 million richer/kill me – WWTDD

I understand why Zucherberg wanted it so damn bad – girlsoninstagram

Apple made a couple bucks last quarter – Engadget

Teens getting drunk off hand sanitizer – YAHOO

Rosie O’Donnell is a stupid cunt – IDLYITW

Dude has the Field of Dreams tattooed on his back – WithLeather

Earlier today, the news everywhere is reporting that Joran Van Der Sloot, the guy who not only (Allegedly) killed Natalie Halloway, and then dispatched some young lady down in Brazil, is now going to be bringing his evil offspring into this world.  Let us all thank the young lady that made this amazing decision. I am sure she thought this over very well…This leads me to my next thought…

Seriously ladies…

What the fuck is the matter with you??  Is the “Bad Boy” that irresistible to you? What is it that makes you decide having sex with convicted criminals that exciting?  Don’t give me the whole, “oh that chick must be crazy” speech.  That was null and void the first time some dumb broad sent fan mail to a serial killer.  Notorious Serial Killer Ted Bundy not only received fan mail while on trial, he also fathered a child with a woman he married while in jail…

I will help you with a few things… If the man you are dating falls under one of the following categories, you should choose a different adventure… cuz the one you are currently pursuing is filled with stupidity that will only lead you to sadness, destruction, and a ruined life.  Here you go:

1. Is he in jail? Has he ever spent more than 30 days in jail?

2. Has he been unemployed for the majority of the time you have been together?  Drug dealers, photographers, musicians and artists are not jobs.

3. Does he regularly use a drug not called marijuana? Does he purchase his pot with your money?

4. Has he ever beaten a woman? Has he ever beaten anyone over something other than protecting a woman or child?

5. Has he ever(even allegedly) killed, or raped someone?

6. Is his child to mother ratio more than 3:2?

If your answer to any of these is yes, and you continue to desire said douchebag… then you are what is wrong with this country. Please, continue to find men who murder, rape and steal irresistible and sexy.  If being lonely, poor and or dead is a fantasy to you… then god bless.

Isn’t he just dreamy…

 

Lawyer Dog meme gets your pooch off the hookUproxx

Guy smarter than you beats a traffic ticket with nerderyAutoblog

Sara Underwood’s Esquire outakesIdontlikeyouinthatway

If you have $90 Million laying around.. this yacht can be yoursTheChive

Gun myths we all believe…and movies are to blameCracked

Behind the scenes photos from Star WarsFlavorwire

Hologram Tupac to go on tour.  Of course it wouldRollingStone

Lindsay Lohan takes the girls to a meeting and forgets her braTodaySweet

49 Year old Jamie Moyer becomes oldest pitcher to win a MLB gameFox Sports

That’s it… I’m done…

I have written about my Dirty ex-girlfriend on here a few times, and perhaps I may have been a bit harsh at times… but anyone that watched last nights “Voice” can agree to this…..

When your fish nets are stretched to the breaking point, and your buttons start shooting off your top and injuring audience members.. its time to lay off the pizza and get back in the gym. It’s unfathomable how far off the deep end she has gone..  Let’s be real, we have all found ourselves in that “Fat” phase…but last time I checked most of us don’t posses the recourses and cash necessary to stay in shape for years on end.

So this is the end..  I hung on in hope that she would drop the pounds and come back to reality.. but that hope is gone.  Unless she kills someone, or grows a third tit on her forehead, I can’t see a reason to do another Christina post.

**Obviously the picture above is not Christina Aguilera. This is Sara Jean Underwood..  Your eyes should thank me.

***This is British hottie Rosie Jones, not Casey Anthony obv.

This is less about Casey “Fucking” Anthony, and more of a plea to the American Public.  Stop.  Stop caring about this cold-hearted bitch. Stop.  Enough about some dipshit supposedly hacking her computer. Stop.  No more TMZ, People Magazine, Nancy Grace and all the rest who find it necessary to publicize a person who has and will continue to try to profit from her innocent daughters death.  She is the scum of the earth, the gum under my shoe, the shit crusted on my dogs ass, and the lowest of the low.

Can we please all agree…people like this should not be romanticized.  Like the dumb bitches who wrote Ted Bundy love letters when he was on trial for murdering at least 30 young women.. This shit has to stop.  Our opinions matter when someone hurts or endangers a child.  People SHOULD care when some horrible piece of shit decides the life of another person is less important than their own.  But when the dust settles, the trial is over, and life resumes….let’s not glorify them.  Let’s isolate that poor bastard and get them off our TV’s.   Knowing what some serial rapist ate for breakfast this morning, or watching Casey Anthony on YouTube will not save some kid from getting beaten nor does it enrich the livesof anyone. If you feel your life is better after sending a murderer fan mail, then you need to get your head checked.

So please.. next time you decide to pick up that magazine or read some Yahoo article about the life of a douchebag.  Stop.

Oh…Here’s another look at Rosie.. In case you were looking 🙂

You’re welcome -AB

Kate Upton Grabs a cock

My day started off great.  Woke up late, got breakfast, strolled into work when I felt like it, Sports Illustrated Photoshootand even stopped by my boss’s office to offer a good word.  Not bad. Then I click Fox Sports and I see this as the headline, “Sanchez spotted with Kate Upton“.  Are you fucking kidding me? Mark “can’t lead a team of superstars to a respectable standing in the league” Sanchez is reportedly dating Kate Upton, whom if you are not familiar, is quite possibly the sexiest thing that has ever graced the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue and gives men one more reason to page through a Victorias Secret Catalog.

 I don’t get it.  Ok that’s a lie, I do. He’s a professional athlete, a starting QB, and plays for the annoying jets and their fat obnoxious coach.  But you would think she would understand that an emerging star such as herself can at least have some sort of standards.  Look at Gisele; she roped herself Tom Brady.  At least that guy has a few rings to show for himself! I don’t know…perhaps I am overreacting here, but seriously…Mark Sanchez??? Give me a fucking break.  By name he sounds more like something you lookup in Urban Dictionary than an NFL Quarterback.

Hopefully she wisens up before Marky Mark uses his pencil dick and impregnates her.  Granted Orlando Blooms squeeze Miranda Kirr, is just as gorgeous as ever, just months after popping out an 8 lbscreaming bowling ball. But we can’t count on that miracle happening for every model that is tainted by some idiot athlete/actor now can we?. 

 

 Whatever.. the Jets suck.

 

-AB

 

 

 

 

 

How did Playboy know it was my Birthday???

Posted: December 12, 2011 by AB in Girls, Lohan

Apparently Hugh Hefner must have read one of the thousands of tweets I have sent over the last 2 year, cuz he just made my day. I was worried that years of personal neglect and drug abuse would have taken a toll on those incredible chest cushions of hers… thankfully this does not appear to be the case.  I could really care less if she ever acts again, doing Playboy has helped resuscitate has been starlets in the past, but as long as she cleans up long enough to do a few more shoots like this… I will be a happy man.

You can all look forward to a full review and “unwrapping” of the Lohan issue this Wednesday. Coverage will begin promptly at “whatever time I roll my ass outta bed and drive to the local book store”.

Lindsay Lohan

Happy Birthday to me!

 

Seriously… we were just talking about something….hmmm…

Whatever, I will remember it I am sure..