Archive for the ‘Random nonsense’ Category

 

 

So here it goes, lets see how motivated we are in updating this.. Since we last posted a lot has happened… Lindsay Lohan continues to baffle science, AA, and the judicial system in somehow making millions of dollars, and staying out of prison;The first man on the moon has died, and a book about a sexually abusive rich dude is somehow wetting more vagina’s then an entire generations worth of action stars combined.  What does any of this mean??
NOTHING.

 

However, we are dedicated to the art of writing about nonsense, and informing the masses of the things that piss us off.. so sit back and enjoy.

-AB

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Kate Upton might possibly be the most unfair thing to happen to Women since we took away their god given right

to stay at home to cook, clean, and raise our children..but thats another conversation entirely.  The point is, if you

are a straight male, and don’t find everything about this woman to be incredibly sexy.. then there is something

terribly wrong with you.

Here are some of the photos you can find just about anywhere, or found in a magazine that for some

reason people will purchase(not me).

Enjoy 🙂

Source – GQ

You have to be shitting me.. According to various news outlets, Ottawa’s Museum of Science and Technology  is hosting a Sex Exhibit initially geared toward children as young as 12….. How bad could a public exhibit paid for by tax dollars really be?? Well, lets see…

According to Fox News, a patron would find the following exhibits:

There is the “Climax Room”, complete with displays of “aroused genitals”

Videos describing masturbation “techniques”

Condom demonstrations on anatomically correct dildos

Videos describing the benefits of having “Multiple Partners, Fuck buddies, and anal”.

Who needs Chucky Cheese when you have this wonderland of sexual deviancy!

So there you have it. Our culture is scared to death of letting a child ride his bike without a bicycle helmet and knee pads, but hey! Why not teach them the virtues of banging 6 other people and proper lube techniques when deciding to pound your partners back door.

-AB

More info- CBC News

Holy Hell, the best show on television(if you disagree, leave now) was renewed for season 4!! According to the Huffington Post, a 13 episode run was ordered, and hopefully NBC will realize in quick order to add a few more episodes before its all done..

On a side note, Alison Brie was on Leno the other day and made a balloon animal and talked about being naked…  So here is that for all of you.  Enjoy!!

http://www.nbc.com/assets/video/widget/widget.html?vid=1400757

Go figure this woman is from ‘Jersey… 44-year-old Patricia Krentcil found herself in a wee bit of trouble this week, when her 5-year-old mentioned to her teacher that she “went tanning with Mommy”…

Now, from the sound of it, this sounds like another classic case of media sensationalism and an over zealous teacher taking the words of a pre-schooler a touch too seriously.

But..

.. then you see a picture of “Mommy’s” face.  I am pretty sure the couch in my living room has less wear and tear, and a more natural finish to it, than Ms. Krentcil’s mug. Nobody in child services is going to believe this woman isn’t crazy enough to think her pale princess is  in desperate need of some color in that pasty skin of hers…

Read the whole story here-MSNBC 

 

Not sure what more needs to be said about this.  Three brave senior citizens discuss(and watch) the awful, Kim Kardashian Sex tape… I have to believe they were as disappointed with it as the rest of us.

 

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-AB

 

Lawyer Dog meme gets your pooch off the hookUproxx

Guy smarter than you beats a traffic ticket with nerderyAutoblog

Sara Underwood’s Esquire outakesIdontlikeyouinthatway

If you have $90 Million laying around.. this yacht can be yoursTheChive

Gun myths we all believe…and movies are to blameCracked

Behind the scenes photos from Star WarsFlavorwire

Hologram Tupac to go on tour.  Of course it wouldRollingStone

Lindsay Lohan takes the girls to a meeting and forgets her braTodaySweet

49 Year old Jamie Moyer becomes oldest pitcher to win a MLB gameFox Sports

Ok.. so I lied.  But a dusty old Mercedes just crossed the block for the obscene amount just south of $5,000,000 dollars.  That’s a lot of fucking zeros. Not saying the rare piece of automotive machinery wasnt worth it, but there are a lot of things a man can do with that kind of coin. In fact, my girlfriend has shared on more than one occasion that she would be scared if the day ever came where I would have mass amounts of disposable income.  I don’t think I am too far off to suggest I would crowd my house with random trinkets, purchase odd and ridiculous items on a mere whim, install various trap doors and hidden rooms in my home and quite possibly involve myself in the black market trading of antiquities and exotic animals.

That being said, the car above lacks many of the conveniences that I simply cannot live without at 29 years of age.  Namely bluetooth, Ipod connectivity and seat warmers.  A fucking Hyundai Elantra has these items, and that car is an ungodly piece of shit.

Here is the vehicle in question:

 Owning a vehicle such as this would honestly serve two purposes. One, to let everyone on my block know that I am an insufferable douchebag, willing to spend more on a single car than some countries produce any given year. Second, the only justifiable reason to own this car would be to pretend you are a British Secret Agent.  Were talking Armani suit wearing, piece carrying, 3 different alias’ with passports to various European countries… the works.

I have sat on this for since lunch today, and decided to take to the masses with it..

You see…today I was given a prophecy, this forecast of curio has left me speachless..I am unsure how to proceed.

I was provided the divination you see as follows:

I do not know my course of action…a Fortune such as this truly does not come around that often.  The cliché cookie message of  ” It is never too late, just as it is never too early”, or perhaps “True wisdom is found in happiness”, and the always predictable “Good things take time”, are found at damn near every Asian inspired, Cookie providing restaurant..  But this…this is something new entirely.  I feel as if I am Charlie, and this is my Golden Ticket…Like Indiana Jones and this is my fathers Grail Diary.. This message, this directive cannot be ignored, and I must succeed in the mission I have been chosen for.. The question burns..

“What shall I do”? What constitutes as “unusual”? Is this something I consider uncommon or weird? This I know, I have been provided the ultimate permission slip, and such an object cannot be wasted.

I really think I need more time. I am getting a headache over this.. I will get back to you .

The “Party Toddler”…

Posted: December 26, 2011 by AB in Links, Random nonsense
Tags: , ,

Internet “Memes’ are fascinating in a “I just saw a raccoon get hit by a semi at 75 mph” sort of way.  You aren’t 100% sure why its funny, or how to explain what you saw… but you find it disturbingly entertaining all the same.

This brings us to the “Party Toddler”.  Apparently this picture was posted on Reddit by her mother graceful_klutz,  with the caption “My daughter is not a morning person”. Obviously it took all of 3 minutes for the picture to hit the internet jet stream and hundreds of  spoofs, using the picture above as the center point.  In any case, I found the following to be rather amusing, and I am sure this kid will laugh her ass off about it when she goes to college.  Hopefully for her parents sake she decides to not embody the “Party Toddler look” when she leaves the nest.

Enjoy! *Source link and more at the bottom of post

Click here for more Party Toddler-Uproxx.com

Via-Reddit