Posts Tagged ‘Apple’

Dude bangs his buddy’s girl.. the story gets better – REDDIT

Bill Clinton has awkward timing – Uproxx

People who hate where they work– TheChive

Bugatti Veyron makes your car look fuckin’ stupid – AutoBlog

Sweet Brown gets Auto-Tuned – YouTube

The Kardashians are 40 million richer/kill me – WWTDD

I understand why Zucherberg wanted it so damn bad – girlsoninstagram

Apple made a couple bucks last quarter – Engadget

Teens getting drunk off hand sanitizer – YAHOO

Rosie O’Donnell is a stupid cunt – IDLYITW

Dude has the Field of Dreams tattooed on his back – WithLeather


Just 5 short years ago, RIM had it all. Palm had started to lose its luster in the growing Smartphone game, and it seemed like anyone important was holding a Blackberry. This wonderous device could do everything!  It was a handheld personal assistant, capable of managing your schedule, maintaining your emails, browsing the internet, and much more.  When RIM announced the Blackberry Pearl in the Summer of 2006 it set a new standard.  What was known as a device held by corporate honchos, CEO’s and world leaders, was now something that the average consumer could pick up and use for day to day tasks.  The Pearl sported a revamped OS and, “Gasp” a Camera w/flash! It was exciting times for RIM as they all but owned the Smartphone game, accounting for nearly 80% of worldwide data devices being sold.  Blackberry was the device to be had, and many celebrities were photographed using the popular device.

But that was then..this is now.  Today Blackberry devices are out of favor and being passed over by nearly EVERYONE purchasing a smartphone.  Why?  RIM failed to realize the very thing that made them popular in the first place, innovation, was a continuous never-ending process and instead sat back and watched the rest of the field catch up and beat them at a game they owned the rights to.  You want a Browser, Android, Apple, hell even PALM had one that was faster and more useful. You want Apps?  RIM created the market for Apps on a device, years before anyone else, but Android and Apple have them beat, 200,000-1 billion times more.  You want creative designs and captivating marketing..yep, Google and Apple kick Blackberry’s sweet ass.  RIM simply fucked the dog on this one, and unfortunately no rabbit in the hat is going to bring it back. RIM has become PALM.  They just don’t know it yet. Within the next two years I will prophesize that RIM will cease to exist in hardware form. The mighty Canadian company that once held over 30 million global subscribers will inevitably become an App.  An operation that developed and manufactured the entire experience from top to bottom will become something you download on your Iphone or Droid.   Reuters is reporting that RIM may need to ditch the hardware part of the business in order to just survive.

In the end, RIM may fail, and Apple and Google will chew up the market share left behind.  With Palm finished, and Microsoft still clinging to life, you never know what the future will hold.  Personally I have owned/used nearly every type of cellular device in existence, and the one thing I will say is, when there was only one choice, and everyone had a Blackberry, you certainly didn’t have the buyers remorse you have now.  I just recently switched from my 4th Android device to the Iphone, and while there are many similarities, they are very different.  Both seem to offer something the other doesn’t, while also completely failing at the thing the other does well.  The crazy thing is, how much the Iphone and Android devices have changed over the last 3 years, and how little the Blackberry has changed.  For a company trying to dig itself from an early grave, you really need to have a game changer.  One look at Motorola will show how revamping the way you approach new products can take a company from the brink to sudden relevance all over again.

C’mon RIM.  Wow us.  Show your remaining few subscribers that there is still life left in the Blackberry tank.  Develop a product that is familiar, yet completely different from anything we have ever seen.  Create something that is smooth, fast, sexy and useful while never-resting to perfect it.

Oh wait…thats what Apple does.  Every 6 months.

Every day something happens that makes me lose a little bit of faith in Mankind.  It’s usually not a lot, just a small percentage here or there.  Today was not one of those days.  Today I nearly gave up entirely on our future as a species.  I work in a mall so I get to see all kinds of embarrassing spectacles of needless purchasing.  In fact, part of my job is to induce said purchases.  I’m a fairly big tech nerd so I have myself indulged in buying fancy products that I don’t really need.  This isn’t about whether or not a person needs a fancy new toy.

As most of you have probably heard something world-changing occurred today.  No, not in Japan.  The iPad 2 was launched.

As I said above, I myself have been prone to buying fancy new toys and this post is not condemning those that just needed to buy Apple’s newest money-maker.  (I do however question the sanity of those who waited in line for 10 hours to get one).  My beef today is with the actions of many of these ass-hats after their purchase.  I witnessed over 100 people today walking around the mall holding their new toy in its pretty Apple bag beaming from ear to ear.  Now this wasnt a “kid-on-Christmas” smile.  It was a “look-how-fucking-cool-I-am” smile.  They waited hours and hours to get one of the most coolest products ever created in the entire world and then instead of going home and actually using it they walk around the mall, not shopping in other stores mind you, just showing off their new status symbol.

I even had the pleasure of viewing, on multiple occasions, total complete strangers recognize that shit eating smile and white bag as they passed by one another and actually engaged in a high-five.  These shit heads are congratulating each other on their coolness.  I guess this is understandable though.  I mean only about 3 million people are going to own one of those things in the next 6 months so I mean yeah, I guess I would do the same thing.  It’s a pretty exclusive club.

At some point I’m sure I’ll give in, sell my original iPad, and pony up for a new tablet of some kind.  But I swear to God, if someone tries to high-five me because they just made the same $600 mistake, the only thing that will keep me from ripping their head off their body will be the fear of my new purchase being damaged in the process.