Posts Tagged ‘Profit-seeking Entity’

I’ve been in the market for a new laptop since mine crashed in October… granted, I got it fixed but it’s gotten to the point where it’s on its last legs.

Now that the back story is out of the way…

Yesterday I decided to stop by a local electronics store because they had a deal on a laptop I was interested in.  I won’t mention this retailer by name, however I’ll make numerous references to their large yellow price tag and blue-shirted minions.  For the record, I will not exaggerate or use any hyperbole in this post.

I walked into the big yellow tag store at about 3:45 pm yesterday and made a bee line to the computer section.  In less than 5 minutes I was “greeted” by a sassy petite Asian girl; she wasn’t dressed in the typical blue and khaki combo though so I assume that she was some sort of team leader type.  As is typical with employees who work for this retailer, she was extremely intrusive.  After explaining to her that I was “just looking” she managed to ask me about the following:

  • Why I needed a laptop…
  • What caused this laptop to crash…
  • Who my internet provider is…
  • What type of internet service I have…
  • How much I pay for that service…
  • How long I’ve had service with said company…
  • If that service includes cable and phone…
  • What type of TV I have…
  • Where I am finishing my degree…

After all of this, I finally convince her to go bother someone else because I’m JUST LOOKING.  I walk to the next aisle to check out another model and, less than 5 minutes later, the same girl asks me if I have any questions.  The only thing I can think about is how I want to be a dick and say, “Look, don’t start with me.”  I walk back to the aisle I started in, and I’m approached by Associate #2, another girl also not dressed in blue and khaki.  I have no idea why she stopped over because she was 10 feet away when I was talking to Associate #1.  I assured Associate #2 that I was fine and she then went on her way.

A few moments later, over saunters Associate #3… another female whom I assured I was fine, had no questions, and was in need of no help.  Again, less than 5 minutes later, Associate #1 stops by again… this time offering to take down my information to forward to my cable company to see if I could get a better price from them.  Finally I cave because Associate #1 was relentless.  EVEN while Associate #1 printed cable/internet offers for me, a young man, Associate #4, felt the need to check on me.  Following Associate #4, only a few minutes later, was another gentleman… yes, Associate #5.  Two more blue-clad minions bum rushed me WHILE I WAS ALREADY BEING HELPED!

By this point, I had both settled on a laptop to purchase and become SICK AND FUCKING TIRED of $8 an hour jackoffs asking me “How are you doing?  Do you have any questions I can help you with?”

NO MOTHER FUCKER!  I DON’T!

I asked Associate #1 to get the laptop I wished to purchase, and we moved to a side table to fill out meaningless paperwork.  Why meaningless?  Well, because I have two brain cells to rub together and can plug-in/set up a computer on my own.  Sorry dear, but I don’t need you to “set up” (i.e. plug in) my laptop for $149.00.  Oh, and while we’re talking about things I don’t need, save me the speech on how great your $130.00 “protection plan” is.  I’m barely spending $600, I don’t need to tack on an extra 30% to that.  I also don’t need $40 worth of anti-virus protection.  DID YOU HEAR ME?!?

Finally, she walks me to the register where I spend 15 minutes in line watching idle, blue-attired, oxygen-to-carbon dioxide converters meander about.  $590 later, I was escorted to the door, and allowed to leave.  Wow, if I felt violated after less than an hour, I wonder what Mandela felt like after 27 years?

All in all, I was there for approximately 50 minutes, during which time, I was approached… nay, BOTHERED by 5 different associates on 7 different occasions.

To all of the suits at the yellow price tag retailer, please step into my office:

Look, I know that you’re a profit-seeking entity.  I’m no fool, you’ve got shareholders to think about, employees to provide for, and silk pockets in your trousers that need lining.  But, rather than trying to milk me for a couple hundred extra dollars today, why don’t you instead LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE! so that I return another day, to spend hundreds more dollars… and another day after that, and another after that, and so on.  Trust me, you’ll come out further ahead that way.

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