I’m moving to Europe…

I saw the following headline from Reuters and decided I need to call my broker:

“Erection-boosting condom gets EU backing.”

I knew I loved Europe.  Futura Medical, a British medical company, just got their “erection-enhancing” jimmy hat recommended for approval.

In another month, uncut blokes in 29 European territories will be all the more willing to wrap their wedding vegetables.  The CSD500 (across the pond they name their rubbers like their sports cars) promises bigger and stronger erections via increased blood flow and dilated arteries thanks to a special gel in the tip.  “Whiskey Dick” is a thing of the past!

Expecting a revival of those catchy Trojan commercials from a few years ago?  Nay… the CSD500 will be a member of the Durex family, which is just fine because this blogger happens to be a Durex kind of guy.

I’m guessing the CSD500 will be next in a long line of things Europe has that the US doesn’t… sure we’ve got baseball and apple pie, but Europe has the Autobahn, beer at McDonald’s, Gemma Atkinson, and now a condom that gives you teak instead of balsa wood… I’m crossing my fingers though.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got an E*Trade account to open…