Posts Tagged ‘Slammer’

By now we’re all aware of the collision course Charlie Sheen is on with total insanity.  However, Chuck isn’t the only celebrity making news.

I’d like to direct your attention to Richard Hatch… you know, from the first season of Survivor?”  He’s the guy that pranced around in the nude and often referred to himself as something along the lines of the “naked fat guy”.  Anyway, he turned himself in to authorities in Rhode Island so he can begin his prison sentence, 9 months, for unpaid taxes.

As you might have expected, this isn’t Dick’s first run-in with the law, nor is it his first tax-related issue.  He has already spent three years in prison for tax evasion.  That’s right folks… THREE YEARS… TAX EVASION.  With that being said, here’s what our pal Dick had to say about his current misunderstanding with Uncle Sam, “I hope I am released soon.  But this system is not effective in dealing with the truth.”

WHAT?!?  Are you high?!?

You’ve already spent three years in the can for tax evasion.  Are you saying you’re wrongfully accused?  Yes, Dick… the powers that be have nothing better to do than mess with you, you narcissistic prick.  That whole wrongfully accused shit is a ridiculous fantasy perpetuated by the puppetteers in Hollywood to separate you from your $8.50.  If you get sentenced, it’s because you’re guilty, PERIOD.

Need I remind you that after you were released from the clink in ’09 you were supposed to file your ’00 and ’01 taxes.  Taxes from over 10 YEARS AGO! Could you explain to me how you’re just a victim of circumstance and filing YOUR taxes from a decade ago isn’t your fault???  And riddle me this, why in the fuck do you feel you should be “released early”?  Repeat offenders go back to jail… ALWAYS.  It doesn’t matter if you’re a D-list celeb, a stagecoach robber, or a retread mom who’s selling her honey-pot to buy more ‘Tussin and Swiss Cake Rolls.  The ‘Man’ always wins.

It would look way better if you just came clean, Dick.  If you had two nickels to rub together to hire a publicist, they’d advise you to do the same thing; or at least weave a more believable yarn.  So what if you pissed away your Survivor winnings on Mars bars and Swedish erotica videos?  Maybe you spent it on high-colonics gluten-free edible underwear, I don’t know!  We’re not going to judge, just please do us all a favor and stop bullshitting everyone.  If you’re broke because you went on a sex tour while slamming heroin, say so!

Here’s the link to the story if you’d like to read it for yourself.  [Story]

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